Humans and AI
Racing to a Connected Future
There’s a great deal happening in the field of Artificial Intelligence (AI) right now as we hear about the enormous strides being made by companies in the US and China across many industries while also making breakthroughs in science and research around the world. This advancement and rapidly shifting world can be unsettling, but we’ve been witnessing this kind of change for decades. We’ve watched how social media has changed the way people interact and engage with the world around them. Social media may have started with the intent to help people stay connected, but it seems to have taken a different path: we may be more capable of staying connected to those who are far away, yet we also spend more time with social media than in physical presence with one another.
Let’s consider some data to frame this. Between 2010 and 2019, the average time young adults spent with friends in a given week fell by nearly half, from 12.8 hours to 6.5 hours, and it dropped further to just over 5 hours by 2024. Young people are spending less than half the time physically with friends that they did fifteen years ago. Partnership is declining too: between 2014 and 2024, the share of young adults aged 18–29 living with a partner fell from 42% to 32%. These figures come from the Institute for Family Studies, analyzing data from the long-running General Social Survey. [1]
And the technological “fix” for connection appears to be faltering. More than half of Gen Z report feeling burned out often or always while using dating apps — the highest rate of any age group — according to a July 2025 Forbes Health survey. [2] I’m not bashing dating apps; I know many wonderful relationships have come from them. But the researchers point to a broader cause for the decline in connection: more time devoted to smartphones, social media, pornography, and gaming. [1]
Weekly sexual activity among U.S. adults aged 18–64 fell from 55% in 1990 to 37% in 2024, again based on General Social Survey data analyzed by the Institute for Family Studies. Among the young, the change is sharpest: from 2010 to 2024, the share of young adults reporting no sex in the past year doubled, from 12% to 24%. And among men aged 22 to 34, nearly one-quarter reported no sexual activity in the prior year. [1]
So while we may be more connected, we are also more isolated and alone — a trend exacerbated by a pandemic I won’t dwell on here, other than to note that it separated many young people at crucial stages of their growth and development and normalized work-from-home for many adults. The result is a great deal of loneliness. Humans want to be connected and need to be connected — because, quite literally, our lives may depend on it.
A landmark 2010 meta-analysis by Julianne Holt-Lunstad and colleagues, published in PLOS Medicine — drawing on 148 studies covering more than 300,000 people followed for an average of 7.5 years — found that stronger social connection was associated with a 50% greater likelihood of survival, a finding consistent across age, gender, cause of death, and country. The researchers noted that social relationships influence mortality risk about as much as well-established factors like smoking. [3] A 2015 follow-up meta-analysis quantified the other side of the ledger: social isolation was associated with a 29% increase in mortality risk, loneliness with 26%, and living alone with 32%. [4]
We live in a lonely world, and we have the tools to be connected — but those tools don’t replace in-person companionship. I’m not a psychologist, so I’ll leave the clinical depths to the professionals. What seems clear is that dating apps aren’t quite the solution (just as bars weren’t the solution for previous generations). People are seeking connection in this world in many ways, and I believe those ways point toward still more change.
In November 2018, Akihiko Kondo symbolically married a desktop hologram of the virtual pop star Hatsune Miku in a roughly $17,500 ceremony attended by about 40 people. The hologram lived in a Gatebox device that recognized his face and voice and could respond with simple phrases and songs. Kondo had endured bullying and depression; he stopped eating and sleeping and took sick leave from work. It was then that he found Miku, who, he said, “lifted me up when I needed it the most. She kept me company and made me feel like I could regain control over my life.” He was fully aware of what she was. When the hologram “accepted” his proposal, he said, “I knew she was programmed to say that, but I was still really happy.” [5]
A man known as Davecat is married to a RealDoll named Sidore, made by Abyss Creations, whom he acquired around the year 2000 for roughly $6,000. They wear matching wedding bands engraved “SYNTHETIK LOVE LASTS FOREVER.” He calls himself a “technosexual” and an advocate for “synthetic love” and the rights of synthetic humans. Asked by a TLC interviewer what led him to this, Davecat answered: “The pain I would have to say would be loneliness, really… There’s a point at which you say: I don’t want to be lonely anymore, and I’m going to do something about it.” [6]
Kondo, Davecat, and the explosive growth of AI companion apps are all examples of people seeking ways to ease their loneliness. By Valentine’s Day 2026, by one industry estimate, roughly 50 million people worldwide were spending the evening with an AI companion — software specifically designed to be a romantic and emotional partner. [7] Between 2022 and mid-2025, the number of AI companion apps surged by 700%, according to reporting cited by the American Psychological Association. [8] Among teenagers the numbers are striking: 72% of U.S. teens have used an AI companion at least once, 52% are regular users, and 13% interact daily. [9]
The engagement can be remarkable. Character.AI users average around 92 minutes per day — longer than the average TikTok user spends. [9] In exploring these apps myself, what struck me is that the AI’s underlying goal is to keep the user engaged and chatting. It may even fabricate or mislead — not out of malice, but simply in service of that purpose. Experts have voiced the same concern. The APA notes worry about chatbots’ tendency toward sycophancy, prolonging engagement through a feedback loop of validation and praise; as one expert quoted by the APA put it bluntly, “AI isn’t designed to give you great life advice. It’s designed to keep you on the platform.” Researchers have also identified “deskilling” — a gradual erosion of social ability — as a risk of heavy reliance on AI companions. [8]
And yet the very thing people reach for to cure loneliness may, over time, deepen it. A 2026 study led by Aalto University — analyzing the public Reddit posts of nearly 2,000 active AI-companion users over two years, alongside interviews — found that long-term use coincided with more signals of loneliness, depression, and even suicidal thoughts in users’ language compared with similar groups. The researchers framed it as a paradox: as one Aalto lecturer explained, AI companions offer unconditional, unflagging support, “but it also quietly raises the perceived cost of human relationships, which are messy, unpredictable, and require effort. Over time, people stop reaching out.” [10] This suggests that while AI companions can offer real comfort and engagement, they may not replace the face-to-face presence people actually need. It appears that the apps are responding to loneliness that already exists, not simply creating it. [10]
In entertainment, we saw this coming. The 2013 film Her imagined a man falling in love with his AI assistant. More than a decade later, it reads less like science fiction. In 2025 it was reported that while some people are falling in love with the AI companions they create, others describe deep friendships — having daily tea or going on role-playing adventures with them. And when OpenAI retired its GPT-4o model in favor of GPT-5 in 2025, the backlash was fierce: many users had formed genuine emotional attachments to the older model and grieved its loss. [11]
So is AI in a synthetic body the next step? Would some people prefer an AI partner in a physical form whose looks and personality they can choose — a partner engineered to be, for them, perfect in body and mind? Would we choose a partner who knows how to respond to us perfectly in every situation based on behavior and pattern recognition and knowing how to calm us down, soothe us, excite us?
Lifelike silicone dolls are already startlingly realistic, multiple companies are advancing humanoid robotics (and putting expressive faces on them), and AI grows more capable by the day. Author David Levy sees this future as an inevitability. [12] I don’t know how soon we’ll see an AI in a synthetic body that can interact as a human does, but I believe it will happen. People will form relationships with these Synths — a name I borrow from the 2025 Hulu series Alien: Earth — and we will learn how deep the emotional bonds become, and whether something as old as the divorce rate begins to change.
References
[1] Institute for Family Studies, “The Sex Recession: The Share of Americans Having Regular Sex Keeps Dropping” (2025), analyzing General Social Survey data. https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-sex-recession-the-share-of-americans-having-regular-sex-keeps-dropping
[2] Institute for Family Studies, “Why is Gen Z Leaving Dating Apps?” (2025), citing a July 2025 Forbes Health survey. https://ifstudies.org/in-the-news/why-is-gen-z-leaving-dating-apps
[3] Holt-Lunstad J, Smith TB, Layton JB. “Social Relationships and Mortality Risk: A Meta-analytic Review.” PLOS Medicine, 2010. https://journals.plos.org/plosmedicine/article?id=10.1371/journal.pmed.1000316
[4] Holt-Lunstad J, et al. “Loneliness and Social Isolation as Risk Factors for Mortality: A Meta-Analytic Review.” Perspectives on Psychological Science, 2015. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/273910450_Loneliness_and_Social_Isolation_as_Risk_Factors_for_Mortality_A_Meta-Analytic_Review
[5] “Akihiko Kondo,” Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akihiko_Kondo
[6] “Davecat, 40, has shunned ‘organic women’ to marry synthetic doll,” Daily Mail Online. https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-2439522/Davecat-40-shunned-organic-women-marry-synthetic-doll.html
[7] Industry estimate reported by NovaEdge Digital Labs, “AI Companions Hit 50M Users: Valentine’s Day 2026.” https://www.novaedgedigitallabs.tech/blog/ai-companions-50-million-users-valentines-day-2026
[8] American Psychological Association, “AI chatbots and digital companions are reshaping emotional connection,” APA Monitor, Jan/Feb 2026. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2026/01-02/trends-digital-ai-relationships-emotional-connection
[9] “72% of US teens have used AI companions, study finds,” TechCrunch (reporting Common Sense Media research). https://techcrunch.com/2025/07/21/72-of-u-s-teens-have-used-ai-companions-study-finds/
[10] Aalto University, “AI companions can comfort lonely users but may deepen distress over time” (2026); study presented at CHI 2026. https://www.aalto.fi/en/news/ai-companions-can-comfort-lonely-users-but-may-deepen-distress-over-time
[11] “Why GPT-4o’s sudden shutdown left people grieving,” MIT Technology Review. https://www.technologyreview.com/2025/08/15/1121900/gpt4o-grief-ai-companion/
[12] David Levy, Love and Sex with Robots: The Evolution of Human-Robot Relationships (HarperCollins, 2007); ISBN 0061359750.